March 17, 2013

Porn I Dislike: Pussy Close-Ups

Nothin to see here... Just a cartoon...
There are definitely types of porn that I do not like – that I dislike. One could even go so far as to say that I hate some types of porn. If I ever have any blog readers there may well be disagreements; porn which they love and have a fetish for but that I think is gross or sick or disgusting. They may think the same thing about porn that I like. All I can say to that is: I’m right, you’re wrong, get over it.

If you’ve been looking at pornographic pictures for any length of time there is a class of pose that you’re intimately familiar with (no pun intended): A sexy chick spreading her legs to give you an unobstructed view of her pussy. In extreme cases she might even be spreading her lips for you, to give you a look right inside. (She’s not actually doing it specifically for you, by the way. She doesn’t even know you. Sorry.)

I don’t know why it is, but this type of picture turns me off. I don’t have any kind of moral objection to it, the way I do to child porn or incest, it’s purely an aesthetic thing. (That’s why there are actually pictures on this post; I managed to find some that weren’t as bad as others.) I don’t find these pictures sexy. Almost any other female body part, in isolation, can be sexy; obviously I like breasts since I devoted a post to them, but I also like ass pics.



I like photos that show off a sexy pair of legs.



Hell, a photo of just a pair of eyes can be very beautiful.



But when a photo focuses on the pussy it doesn’t do it for me. If I want to be turned on I have to mentally crop the picture to focus on the bits that I like, like this:

Not sexy for me

Look at that sexy girl, and her perfect boobs!
I suppose I understand why there are so many photos like this. We (guys) spend most of our lives chasing pussy, so if we’re gonna ogle nekkid ladies then we might as well get to the good stuff, right? The reasoning is sound – but it doesn’t make me like these photos any better.

Don’t get me wrong, I love pussies. Bring me yours, make sure it’s clean, and I’ll get my tongue right in there, along with a finger or two. I’ll get to know it well. We’ll become good friends, your pussy and I. I have nothing against pussies themselves, and I have no problem with pussies aesthetically. It’s just pussy pictures that, for some reason, don’t do it for me.

So if I don’t like pussies, then I must surely hate...

In-and-Out Close-Up Shots in Porn Videos

Watch a scene of a straight couple fucking and 90% of the screen time is going to be spent on extreme close-ups of a cock pistoning in and out of a pussy. Even on a normal laptop screen you’ll have a larger than life pussy filling the screen, with a huge cock slamming in and out of it. (I can’t imagine what it would be like to watch porn on a big-screen TV...)

I don’t get this. I really, really don’t get this. It’s not sexy, it’s not erotic. It doesn’t turn me on. And the vast majority of screen time is spent on it! (Aside from, you know, foreplay, oral sex, and anything else that doesn’t involve a cock being thrust in and out of something.) Even anal is going to be shot this way; occasionally the camera will be panned out far enough to get some context, so that you can see the couple’s bodies and tell what’s going on, but the majority of the time you’ll just see that larger than life butt hole getting filled with that larger than life cock. Blowjobs – at least the “vigorous” ones – are sometimes shot this way too, but it’s not so bad because at least the girl’s face is in the frame.

This means that when I watch straight male/female videos I usually do the following:
  1. I watch the beginning of the video, when context is being set. (If any. If it’s gonzo there might not be.)
    • There is an exception to this rule when the actress is being interviewed at the beginning of the video. I almost never watch these interviews; the guys making these videos need to learn that nobody cares about their shitty, boring interview style. If nobody said anything interesting – which is almost always the case – then edit that shit out. But I digress.
  2. I watch the beginning foreplay. Sometimes I skip through bits of the blowjob (there’s always a blowjob), but for the most part I watch the beginning pieces.
  3. As soon as they start fucking I get my hand on the mouse so I can start skipping through the scene a little bit at a time. (It’s great to live in the age of internet video when you can just skip around a scene. When I was a boy you had to manually fast-forward the VCR!) When I land on a camera angle where you can actually see context I let it play, and as soon as it gets back to a close-up in-and-out shot I start skipping again.
  4. If I get really bored I just skip right to the end for the facial.
I have absolutely no hope whatsoever that they’ll ever stop making porn this way. It must sell, because it’s universally like this. But that’s OK. Skipping through close-ups is a small price to pay to watch sexy girls getting fucked to orgasm.
Technically this doesn't show much, but it's sexier than most in-and-out porn

3 comments:

  1. I am with you 100%!!!! I dont want to looj at a raw steak I cant have... I want to see it so's I can smell it And taste it! Gimne boobs and head shots!

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    Replies
    1. I think a lot of guys share this sentiment - but they still keep making porn the way they make it. ;)

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