Porn I Like: Futa

I’m going to start this post by splitting a hair, and hoping that others split this particular hair in the same way that I do: in my mind there are two types of “chicks with dicks” porn, which are 1) she-male, in which a person has both male and female genitalia (usually a dick and breasts), and 2) #futanari (or #futa for short, although Wikipedia seems to make a distinction between the two terms), in which a person is pretty predominantly female but with a cock. In some scenarios, especially in comics, a character will start out 100% female and then grow a cock.

The reason that I make this particular distinction is that she-male porn doesn’t turn me on (in my mind I sort of put it into the gay category, though I know it’s not), whereas futa does (in my mind I sort of put it into the lesbian category, though I know it’s not). Obviously this is a pretty fuzzy distinction – in both cases the characters have both male and female parts – so you could probably also say that if it turns me on I call it futa and if it doesn’t I call it she-male. That would be a bit reductionist, but not wholly incorrect either.

Porn I Like: Erotic Fiction

Most of the porn that I write about or link to or obsess over is of a visual nature. The vast majority of porn I consume is in the form of pictures, and the next biggest category is video. (I’ve talked before about the reasons for that ratio: being married and keeping my porn consumption “under the table” means that I don’t often get a chance to consume porn with audio.)

However being observant – not to mention highly intelligent and quite sexy – you will have noticed that I’m pretty fuckin wordy. I mean sure, I sprinkle the occasional smutty picture around the blog, but I also talk a helluva lot. So you won’t be surprised to learn that I also enjoy erotic literature.

Bad Prose

I haven’t written about erotic fiction yet, have I? I really should. In fact... I will. Keep an eye out for that.

But in the meantime, you know what can kill a hot story quick? Bad writing. Even a good concept can be ruined if someone doesn’t know how to write. They say the sign of a bad writer is the use of too many adjectives, and that’s probably true, but the sign of an even worse writer is too few nouns.

Porn I Dislike: Pussy Close-Ups

There are definitely types of porn that I do not like – that I dislike. One could even go so far as to say that I hate some types of porn. If I ever have any blog readers there may well be disagreements; porn which they love and have a fetish for but that I think is gross or sick or disgusting. They may think the same thing about porn that I like. All I can say to that is: I’m right, you’re wrong, get over it.

If you’ve been looking at pornographic pictures for any length of time there is a class of pose that you’re intimately familiar with (no pun intended): A sexy chick spreading her legs to give you an unobstructed view of her pussy. In extreme cases she might even be spreading her lips for you, to give you a look right inside. (She’s not actually doing it specifically for you, by the way. She doesn’t even know you. Sorry.)

My First Comment! My first com... wait.

I was very excited to open my Inbox recently and see the very first comment on the blog. My mind raced with possibilities; maybe it’s someone writing to say that my love of porn had touched them in a deep and personal way, that they were happy to know that there were kindred souls out on the internet. Maybe it was some young sexy thing who wanted to touch ME in a deep and personal way. (If you know what I’m sayin.) (Wink wink, nudge nudge.)

Porn “Fans”

Once again I’m writing a post sparked by an article I read on Slate. (The article is long but it doesn’t use many big words so you should have no trouble reading it.) (Sorry, am I getting jaded with the 140-character-or-less nature of the new internet? Anyway...)

Ancient Pornography

I come across the weirdest articles sometimes, but at least it makes me feel a bit more normal. “Been addicted to porn your whole adult life? Don’t feel bad! Folks have been groovin to porn since before the dawn of history, so you are not alone!” So it was just par for the course when I came across this article on Slate, about prehistoric porn.

Porn I Dislike: Child Porn

There are definitely types of porn that I do not like – that I dislike. One could even go so far as to say that I hate some types of porn. If I ever have any blog readers there may well be disagreements; porn which they love and have a fetish for but that I think is gross or sick or disgusting. They may think the same thing about porn that I like. All I can say to that is: I’m right, you’re wrong, get over it.

I don’t like child porn. Not exactly a surprising statement; in fact I wasn’t sure if I should bother posting this because it seemed too obvious. But then I decided that it’s probably not too obvious – which is sad – and figured I’d post it anyway. I’m not even sure what to say on this topic because anything I’d say seems so common sense. I don’t like the exploitation of children, and I think it takes a certain kind of sickness to enjoy even the thought of it. I’ve heard men try to excuse this behaviour, and I’ve heard people referring to it as “loving” children instead of “abusing” children, but I call bullshit on that. It takes a lot of intellectual dishonesty to try to make this kind of abuse seem OK, and while they’re tying their brains in knots trying to justify their sick behaviour children are paying the price.