Thank You Ladies!

When I was growing up, and even into my early adult years, porn wasn’t easy to come by. You had to buy magazines or videos or go to one of those adult theatres (where the floors are probably covered in old, sticky cum). Now it’s quite easy to get porn of any type through the internet, meaning that a lot more people are consuming porn than ever before. It also means that the demographics of porn consumers are changing; people are probably consuming porn at younger ages than in times past, but more importantly (for this post) women are also viewing porn more than they have in the past.

Porn has always been geared more towards men than women, but that has fueled women’s curiosity about it. Why are men so into seeing naked women, or watching people have sex? I’ve known women who have been at parties with a bunch of other girls and pulled out some porn to watch, not because they wanted to have a wild lesbian orgy (unfortunately), but out of pure curiosity: What is this porn thing, and what’s the attraction? It wasn’t titillating for them, it was scientific. I think those ladies are the exception, though, not the rule, in that they actually watched some. For much of my life it was a pretty safe assumption that any man over a certain age had seen porn of some form but that very few women of any age had consumed any.

Oh, but the internet changes all of that. Now if a girl is curious about porn she can wait until she’s alone, pull up a web browser, and look as much or as little as she wants. I think it’s fair to say that anyone, male or female, over a certain age have seen porn in some form or another, regardless of their reasons for doing so: lust, or curiosity, or simply for pointers. (As to what that age is, I’d hesitate to guess.)

One consequence of this is that porn has a new demographic; some women got turned on, just like men do, and are as hooked as I am. Go to fantasti’s community section, for example, search for female members, and you’ll find tons. Some of them might be men pretending to be women, of course – that’s always been the case on the internet – but some of them are actual females, who enjoy, and are turned on by, porn. Lately any time I’ve taken on a new lover it’s pretty good odds that she’ll be an avid porn consumer, with the odds being better and better the younger she is, and frankly I find that a huge turn-on. When you picture a guy yanking it to porn it’s not always an attractive mental picture, but when I picture one of these girls in bed, beside her tablet, arching her back, breasts thrust into the air, toes digging into the sheets as she fingers herself to a screaming orgasm, I get hard. I’m hard now just thinking about it.

But another consequence of this trend of women starting to consume porn is that they have a really good idea of how it works (sort of – see below), and how two (or more) people interact when they’re fucking. What they do, how they position their bodies, where they put their hands... where they put their cum. None of it is a mystery anymore. Women have always talked about this stuff, but you can only go into so much detail, whereas all of the details are right there in the open when you watch porn.

Many women consider this to be liberating because porn is no longer just for men: women can consume it too. They probably also think it somehow ties into feminism, though most women have a very fuzzy idea as to what “feminism” really is; especially the younger ones who grew up with the Spice Girls’ meaningless notion of “girl power.” And there are women out there who are specifically making porn for women, to cater to their tastes.

But you know what? Most porn still doesn’t cater to women’s tastes, it still very much caters to men. A woman in a pornographic video (or picture) is not a woman she’s a set of body parts, most of which are somehow going to interact with one or more cocks. Or maybe with the body parts of another sex object that looks like a woman. Whether they realize it or not, women who have come to porn looking to find out how sex works have instead discovered only how the male fantasy works. Girls, if you’ve come to porn because you want to figure out how to please your man then you’ve come to the right spot, and by all means do what the pornstars are doing. It’ll work. But if you’ve come because you’re curious about sex, you’re going to get a pretty skewed view of what it is.

And what this means to society as a whole is that porn is having a big impact on how everyone has sex. We all know that porn isn’t real (or at least we should), but we still let it shape our views on how sex works, just like we know that TV and movies aren’t real but we let them shape our views on relationships. Regardless of why they might have wanted to watch porn in the first place, women are now trying to become pornstars in the bedroom. Anecdotally I’m hearing that the facial is becoming much more common in the bedroom, though I’m not sure that all women enjoy it as much as porn stars pretend to.

Personally, speaking as a man, let me tell you that this situation is fucking awesome! Thank you so much, ladies! You’re taking the male fantasy and making it a reality, one messy facial at a time! There’s so much talk about equality and feminist ideals (and femininity) and liberating women’s bodies, while the reality is that you’re slowly becoming our sex slaves!

So to the women who consume and love porn for porn’s sake, keep at it ladies. God bless ya! And to the women who consume porn to try to figure out how sex works, or how to please your man/men, do your best not to think too deeply about what you’re doing, or who it is meant to please (him or you). Personally, I like sluts so the more we have in society the happier I am. (I don’t consider the word “slut” to be dirty, except in a very good way.)

But please remember that getting pointers on your sex life from porn can only take you so far. If you want real lessons on how sex works please contact me to arrange for an in-person session and I’ll take your training to new levels. (Be sure to enclose recent photos, and if you have to wear clothes make sure they’re from Victoria’s Secret. Consider it part of your training.)