Porn I Like: Breast to Breast

It's not the same when they have clothes on

On the one hand I can’t believe I haven’t written about this before, it seems so obvious – I fucking love breasts! – but on the other hand maybe I just thought it was too specific. On the first hand again, however, I did write an entire post about them, so I’m not above getting hyper-specific on types of boob pics I like when I feel the need. Or when I want an excuse to post a bunch of smutty pictures. Which is always.

Some Things Are Turnoffs – Except When They’re Not

You know what’s great? Having someone you can talk to about dirty stuff, especially the dirty stuff you need to keep secret. I used to have a bunch of friends I could talk to about adultery – many of them were women, which was even better because guys get weird about having conversations with other guys that are too intimate – and I still talk to one of those ladies about adultery. Now that I’ve started this blog we’ve expanded our horizons and also talk about porn. We haven’t done anything physical with/to/beside each other yet, but it’s only a matter of time; my pull is magnetic, so she can only resist it for so long. (At this point I think she’s just being stubborn, which is only hurting herself!)

Difference Between Exploitation and Submission?

When I wrote the post about women liking gay porn, there was a topic I didn’t feel I could get into without making post twice as long. So here we are: Two posts!

One of the theories as to why women might prefer gay porn over straight porn is that gay porn feels less exploitative than straight, male/female porn. There are fairly rigid gender roles in most straight porn whereby females exist for the pleasure of males. Female bodies are the ones that are put on display; men are often edited out of the scene altogether (except for their cocks), and sex is usually something that is done to the females, not with them.

Women Prefer Gay Porn Over “Female Friendly” Porn

I read a post on HuffPo which mentioned that women prefer watching gay porn – lesbian porn or gay male porn – over “female friendly” straight porn, and I found that fact very interesting. (If true, but the stats are coming from PornHub which would be a good source of data; the only thing that might skew it is if there are still lots of men out there claiming to be women when they sign up for porn sites.) The post has an infographic illustrating the type of porn women (and men) are watching, as well as one illustrating the type of porn they’re searching for; between those two infographics it’s an interesting picture of male/female porn habits. At least, their habits on PornHub, but I’m guessing it’s probably similar on any porn site.

Reasons Porn is Better than Sex: Time

It’s been a while since I wrote one of these posts, so let’s start with the basics, shall we? On the whole, having sex with one or more real women is typically more pleasurable to me than consuming porn and strokin it. That shouldn’t be controversial at all.

But hey – did you notice the caveats I put in that seemingly simple sentence? For one, I said that sex is “typically” more pleasurable than porn and masturbation, which implies that sometimes it’s not. Which, unfortunately, is true: I’ve had some pretty disappointing sex in my time (and some pretty fantastic porn/masturbation sessions), so while it’s not typical it does sometimes happen that specific instances of sex are not as good as consuming porn and pleasuring myself.

Dating Sites

As a married man, I’m limited in the online dating sites I can use: If I want to go looking for women who want to fuck, pretty much my only option is Ashley Madison.

As an aside, you might have assumed that a married man wouldn’t need a dating site; that dating is no longer necessary once one is married. After all, isn’t that the point of dating? To find someone to marry? If you’re thinking that you’re probably female, because men know that there’s another reason – perhaps the prime reason – for dating, which is to fuck. And married men like to fuck too, and don’t always need their fuck partner to be their spouse.

What Is It With the Captions on Porn Images?

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What Is It With Men and Younger Women? Pt. 3

For Part 1 of this post go here, and for Part 2 go here. I swear this will be the last one. Um… I think.

What does it mean to be a good father? A lot of people, when pondering a question like this, will go straight to the extreme: I’d throw myself in front of a train for my children! I’d throw myself on a grenade! I’d lay down my life in any way required, if it would spare them! These are laudable sentiments, but if you think a bit further about it a further question comes up: OK there superman, you’d throw yourself in front of a train for your children, but would you give up a night at the bar to stay home and hang out with them? You’d throw yourself on a grenade for them, but would you leave the office early to go to a recital? (What would I do without cliches? This blog would be bereft of content, and have only pornographic photos to entertain my readers – in other words, I’d be on Tumblr.)

What Is It With Men and Younger Women? Pt. 2

For Part 1 of this post, go here.

I’ve had younger girlfriends too. For the most significant relationship the ratio was something like 37:23. (Yes, 23.)

What Is It With Men and Younger Women? Pt. 1

This isn’t so much a series of “blog posts” as it is “Thinking Inside Your Box workin through some stuff.” Blogs are cheaper than psychiatrists. Hell, they’re even cheaper than booze!

OKCupid made the news a while ago when they wrote on their blog about what they’ve seen in their statistics about age. To get right to the salient points:

• Women tend to be attracted to (or message) men whose age is commensurate with their own. As women get older the age ranges of guys they’ll communicate with moves along with their own age. To be clear, ladies may prefer older guys, but what they consider “older” changes as they age. A 20 year old girl might date a 26 year old dude but not a 30 year old; a 30 year old woman might date a 36 year old man but not a 40 year old man.
• Men like women in their early 20’s.

Eyes. No, Not Womens’ Eyes, Mine This Time

I’ve written about eyes before, but that was about the eyes of girls I’m dating (and/or cybering). Now it’s time to write about my own.

Blame the Victim

If you haven’t heard by now, a pornstar named Christy Mack was brutally assaulted by her ex this summer. And I don’t mean she was just beaten up, I mean it was the kind of scene that you typically only hear about in extreme rape porn, except it happened in real life. I’ve written before that I happen to enjoy rape porn, but I’ve also written that I think there’s a line between fantasy and deviant perversion, and that some things are only enjoyable in porn and not in real life, and reading about Mack’s experience was gut wrenching.

Some Things are More Important Than Masturbating

I’ve been carrying on an email correspondence with a friend who wants to get in my pants, but who hasn’t yet gotten up the courage to invite me to a hotel so that she can fuck me. (She also happens to read this blog, and there’s a slim chance she wouldn’t 100% agree with that previous sentence.) We were talking recently about the fact that the slightest misstep during sex can cause a woman to completely lose her momentum.

#twitterpurge

Allow me to state the obvious: movies are not real. People do things in movies that you cannot, and should not, do in real life.

On “Fucking” vs. “Making Love”

How does one define “fucking,” and how does one define “making love”? Obviously both are categories of sexual activity, and the definitions are more qualitative than quantitative. When two (or more*) people are having sex they might be “making love” or they might be “fucking” or maybe they’re doing neither.

* Does it get tiresome that every time – and I’m pretty sure it’s every time – I talk about people having sex I always say “two (or more)”? Is that qualifier really necessary – are there that many people having group sex that I need to worry about leaving them out?

Porn’s Impact on the [Teenaged] Brain

Remember when I wrote about porn being addictive? And not just addictive, but addictive in a way that alters the fundamental makeup of our brains? And remember when I said that the effects are worse on younger folks because it catches their brains at a crucial formative point in their development?

The Sole of a Foot, Curved Out of a Shoe

I’ve written before that I’m not into foot fetish porn – and that’s not changing – and nor am I into feet in person. I have no interest in cumming on your feet, or kissing your feet, or sucking your toes, or whatever foot fetishists do when they come in contact with feet.

The Stats on Internet Porn

Did you know that 1 in 3 porn viewers are women? (I thought it would be higher.)

Assumptions

I’ve noticed that there’s a core assumption people in the West tend to carry around – maybe people all over the world – which goes something like this: “People are basically like me.”

Smutty is Like a Mistress

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What Does It Feel Like When a Guy Cums?

I can’t tell you.

Is it because it’s a secret? No, I have no secrets from you, my dear blog readers. Ask me anything! I’ve written about my own masturbation being interrupted, about the fact that I’m uncircumcised, about precum (and the fact that sometimes it’s comforting to feel it in my boxers after sex or after yankin it), and hashtags I’m embarrassed to follow, and a bunch of other things besides.

Is There a Place for Sexual Shame?

This post is accidentally safe for work. Sorry. I didn’t have time to put in pictures before posting it.

I saw a post with this title on the Naked Truth blog, and thought it was a great idea for a post. My plan, as usual, was to read it and then come here and talk about essentially the same thing, linking back to the article. Except then I read it and it turned out to just be talking about masturbation and why men feel shame after they yank it – even men (as with the case of the blogger’s husband and subject of the post) who weren’t raised to think of masturbation as shameful.

That’s an interesting question, and one that’s worthy of a blog post, but when I saw the title my mind went in a different direction: are there types of shame which are actually valid? Are there times when we should feel shame? In other words, literally: is there a place for shame?

The Beast Football

I opened a previous post talking about the World Cup with a photo of a soccer game in the mud. There are a bunch of sexy girls in skimpy outfits playing, and the one in the foreground is adjusting her shorts in a way that gets me instantly aroused:

Stash?

Do people bother with stashes of porn anymore? Is there any point?

When I was a kid porn was a lot harder to come by, and you can understand why: stone tablets are hard to transport, and even harder to mass produce! Also, it’s difficult to do good circles with a hammer and chisel, so boobs always tended to come out looking kind of boxy. To this day, just seeing a couple of circles side by side is enough to make me blush; put a dot in the middle of each one and I’ll cum in my pants.

World Cup Fever

I don’t watch much football/soccer, and didn’t see any of the World Cup matches. Just from that one sentence alone you can probably tell that I live in North America, right? If I lived anywhere else in the world that would be a shocking thing to say.

Doubling Down on Mentorship

That’s a terrible title, but you’ll see where it came from later on.

I wrote a post a while ago in which I took the very brave stance that mentors should not sexually harass their protégés, and that they should do their best to remember this sage advice any time they get attention from someone of the “right” sex/orientation*. It’s probably not because that person wants to join genitals with you, it’s because you’re a mentor and people are naturally going to look up to you.

Opposite of Porn Addiction in Action

I don’t normally get headaches, but I do get sometimes get a caffeine headache if I skip my morning coffee. (Or if I just have 1 instead of 2 or 3.) It’s a normal aspect of life for most coffee-addicted North Americans, including myself.

Porn Addiction In Action

Wednesday Evening, 8:00 PM
I’m sitting in front of the TV. Watching… I don’t know, something stupid, probably. I’m just killing time, really. My wife and I agreed to have sex later, and I’m hoping it will be soon so that I can go to bed early.

Wow, the People Who Write for “Barstool Sports” are Misogynistic Assholes

I came across this article from a site called “Barstool Sports,” which I’d never heard of before. I should have been tipped off that this was going to be a bad article from the very first sentence:

Ever since controversial undergrad/Duke porn star Belle Knox announced she’d be headlining her first strip show in NYC on Friday, college students have been racing to the poles.

Should We Follow Germany’s Lead When it Comes to Revenge Porn?

I saw this article on HuffPo, and aside from the fact that the photo at the top features the cutest girl in the entire world, the article got me thinking. A very, very high level synopsis is this: A guy in Germany had some erotic photos of his ex-girlfriend on his phone and she asked him to delete them but he didn’t want to, so she took him to court and the court ordered that he should have deleted the photos as soon as she asked him to. The main point is that the German court found that the girlfriend's personal rights trumped the ownership rights of the boyfriend.

Privacy Screens

If you work in certain professional fields in a job that requires you to carry a laptop and do your work in places like planes and trains and coffee shops, then there’s a tool that you really need to have: a privacy screen. It’s a screen you put over your laptop’s screen so that it can be seen [almost] normally when looking straight at it, but when you look at the screen at an angle you can’t see anything. More precisely, you can see your screen but someone sitting beside you can’t see it.

Where do Pornstars Put Their Money?

Suppose you’re a pornstar. Go ahead, take some time to picture it. (If it helps, and if you’re a hot female, you can make your dream real by taking a video of yourself doing something naughty and sending it to me. It would have nothing to do with this post, but I’d still be happy to receive it.) Are you picturing it? Good. Now ask yourself: “Why did I become a pornstar?”

Are People Who Consume Porn More Likely to Cheat?

Wait, does anyone not consume porn?

I’ve written before about an article showing that people who consume porn have more sex, and my overall attitude about it was, “Duh! We watch porn, among other things, because we like sex – so of course we partake in it as well, we don’t just watch it!”

Dammit!

Alternate (and more useful) title: Peeping Tom / Upskirt Porn Revisited

I was browsing Smutty recently on one of those rare occasions when I was able to watch videos. My wife was either out of the house or otherwise occupied (on a separate floor), such that I was sure I wouldn’t get interrupted and she wouldn’t be able to hear the video’s sound. And I had to be very careful in this case because the description of the video indicated that the girl getting fucked was very vocal; we all know that the sound from pornographic videos travels better than any other sound known to man – put your computer on the lowest possible volume setting and people 3 doors down will still know immediately you’re watching a fuck flick – so it was especially important to watch this video when she wouldn’t be able to hear it.

A Different Type of Movie? Or More of the Same?

I should state, before anyone gets any false expectations, that I’m talking about a porn movie, not a “regular” movie. Just in case someone is coming here for the first time and doesn’t know what this blog is about. (And all of the blog name doesn’t tip them off.)

Probably not an extremely helpful disclaimer, eh? And should I really make the distinction between a “porn movie” and a “regular movie” – as if porn is somehow irregular? Porn is pretty fucking common these days. Maybe it should be a distinction between “porn movies” and “non-porn movies”?

If I’m going to have these kinds of sidebars I should try to make them more relevant, shouldn’t I? Oh well, too late now. It would be a lot of work to go back and delete the previous two paragraphs (and this one), so I’ll just leave them in and let my readers deal with the fallout of my scattered thoughts.

I’m almost positive I’ve already written something on this blog almost exactly the same with regard to my tangents.

Why I Would Have Sex With a Zombie

Last week I wrote about sex with zombies. No, seriously, it’s true! I really did! This blog is fucked up, yo.

Too New to be Good?

I’ve written about Belle Knox once or twice. (How can I not? It’s an actual story about porn that people are aware of!) But as much as I’ve written about her, Gram Ponante has written a lot more; she (and the asshat who outed her) show up on his blog (and the blog on Naked Truth where he also writes) fairly often.

Sex With Zombies?

Here’s what I don’t get about sex with zombies:

Actually, before I get into that, allow me to spend a moment reveling in the fact that I have created a blog, the subject matter of which allows me to create a post that starts with the sentence, “Here’s what I don’t get about sex with zombies.” And it’s not even that far off topic. (It involves sex, after all.)

Pornstars: Doin It For the Money

I wrote recently about Belle Knox, and whether or not porn can be a form of female empowerment. She recently wrote a post for HuffPo which should have been common sense, except that when it comes to porn we tend to throw common sense out the window. (I really want to make a pun about “throwing things out the window” when it comes to porn, but I can’t think of one that wouldn't be really, really gross.)

News Coverage of Spring Break in America

I don’t know if Spring Break is something that’s “celebrated” all over the world, but they make a big deal out of it here in North America. It’s a week in the Spring that colleges and universities around the country take off so that the students can prepare for exams. By which I mean: drive to Florida, strip down to bikinis, get shitfaced, and have lots of sex. Of course, if you look for pictures of Spring Break you’ll mostly see white kids, for reasons I’ve discussed before.

I Love Porn – I May Have Mentioned That Before

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it a lot. I love porn so much that I maintain a blog about it – you’re reading it right now, so you must have a certain affection for porn as well – and so the fact that I love it has come up on numerous occasions. If you do a search for the phrase “I love porn” in the search box above you’ll get back 48 different posts where I’ve used that exact phrase (so far). I think I’ve also mentioned on a number of occasions that I’m rather fond of being a middle-aged white man – it’s nice to be part of the ruling class – but that’s neither here nor there.

Misconceptions About Sex

I’ve written before about porn’s impact on us, and how it shapes our views on sex. I’m not the only one thinking about this: it’s not exactly a scientific study, but a thread on reddit asked women what they’d “learned” from porn that turned out to be untrue.

Porn as a Form of Female Empowerment

I really should have talked about Belle Knox before now. I blog about porn, and yet when a porn-related news story gets international attention I don’t mention it? What’s wrong with me? (Then again, my blogging about porn is more related to my own likes and dislikes, so maybe it’s not such a big deal…)

What Does a “Proper” D/s Relationship Look Like?

Let’s start this post off with a long, rambling preamble, shall we?

I have a scratchpad of ideas for posts I want to write. Sometimes an idea is just a couple of words or a link to an article that I want to write about, and sometimes it’s a series of points and sub-points so complete that all I have to do is translate those thoughts into proper English and I’m done. One of the ideas I had sitting there for quite a while simply said “D/s and the whole ‘daddy’ thing; it’s not incest – yes it is!”

D/s and the Whole “Daddy” Thing

I’ve written before that I’m not into incest – and I stand by that! (I know: It’s a brave stance. If there were awards for porn blogging, I’m sure I’d be nominated regularly.) I also wrote that I go as far as not liking it when girls want to call me “daddy” in the bedroom.

Eyes

I think I’ve mentioned before the thrill I get when a lover (whether real or cyber) sends me erotic photos of herself. (Or videos, of course.) Not so much because of the photos themselves, I can find a whole lot of sexy women with perfect bodies on Smutty without even breaking a sweat (and I’ve written before how much porn lovers like – need – variety), but because of the idea of the fact that this woman is taking a chance on sending this photo, just so that she can turn me on.

What’s the Relationship Between Masturbation and Sex?

The title of this post might seem like an obvious question, but I disagree (or I wouldn’t have written this in the first place).

In fact, I’ll start with an even more general question: What is masturbation? Is it a physical thing, releasing pent up energy? Is it an emotional thing? Is it related to lust? Does the situation surrounding the masturbatory event change the answer to this question?

Autocomplete for Porn Searches

Anyone who’s used Google is familiar with–

Wait, let me start again.

Everyone is familiar with autocomplete. When you go to Google and start typing the site helpfully provides you with phrases that others have searched for. Sometimes with helpful results, sometimes with funny results, and sometimes with results that make you lose your faith in humanity.

Reasons Porn Is Better Than Sex: No Emotional Roller Coaster

Alternate title: Dating Sites Suck, Part 3

When I say that porn is better than sex, I’m being somewhat tongue in cheek. (If you’d like to put your tongue in my cheek please leave a comment. Also, please be female. And hot.) Obviously I prefer fucking over watching people fuck, although I have to admit that watching people fuck is a helluva lot more convenient.

I’ve written about dating sites before (and I’ll probably do so again). They have their downsides, but they also definitely have a purpose: they allow you to meet and get to know people you’d like to fuck. (Some, like eHarmony, might put the focus more on finding a “life partner” or getting married, but those aren’t the kinds of dating sites I use.)

Whatever Happened to 3D Porn?

It has become a truism that porn tends to lead the way when it comes to technology. I don’t know if that was true in days gone by, but at least since the advent of the world wide web pornographers have been constantly forging new ground in uses of technology. In a way they’ve become victims of their own success because it’s so easy to get porn on the internet for free that they’re having trouble figuring out how to get people to pay for it, but that’s a topic for another post (and I’ve already written a bit on the topic anyway).

Oh Right – THAT’S Why This Blog Was a Secret!

Every once in a while I’ll come across some porn-related blog post or news item that I find amusing, and I’ll further amuse myself by imagining the blog post I’d write if that item were about me. Honestly, I can provide hours of self-stimulated pleasure by imagining how I would write a blog post about me doing something stupid but sexual.

Complicity in Revenge Porn?

I was reading a piece in HuffPo on the question of complicity in revenge porn: if you share lascivious photos of yourself with someone and that person ends up posting them as revenge porn, are you partially complicit in that for having shared the photos in the first place? (Just to remove any unnecessary suspense, my answer to the question is a resounding no.)

People Who Watch More Porn Have More Sex

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What Happened to You Ashley Madison? You Used to Be Cool.

When I first joined the ranks of adulterers on Ashley Madison, the above image is the one which greeted me every time I logged on. The discreet (but hot) businesswoman whispering temptingly into her handsome colleague’s ear. One can only assume she’s suggesting they have an affair; she might even be teasing him that his monogamy has become monotony, as mentioned in the tagline at the top of the page.

Self Control

(Or lack thereof.)

I’m an unrepentant multitasker. I’m often working on one or more work-related things at the same time that I’m chatting with people over instant messaging and maybe even writing blog posts for a blog about porn*, and I’m usually pretty good at prioritizing the various things I’m doing. (* Note: I may sometimes work on my porn-related blog posts at work, but obviously there are limits to what I’ll do at work. I don’t go browsing Smutty or attaching pictures to blog posts or anything – I don’t even view my own blog from the network at work. I just write the content for my posts, and then when I’m at home I’ll put them in Blogger and start pulling in pictures.) I have a pretty good poker face, so people around me will rarely be able to tell the difference between when I’m working and when I’m, you know, workin it.

Life After Sex? Will Porn Be Enough When I’m Old?

Let me run a couple of scenarios past you. I’m not doing this for Minx’s benefit – though she requested something similar – it just happens to be a good way to get to my point. Or maybe it’s just semi-titillating; this is a blog about porn, so titillation is also good.

Submission

I put that cartoon with this post because it reminded me of a topic that I’d wanted to write about for a while. Except it’s not really porn-related, which means this post might turn into a rant. We’ll see what happens as I type.

Gamelink’s Loadmap to Great Porn in 2014

How would you like to see porn evolve in the year 2014?

Wait, let me stop you right there: There’s probably nobody listening. Sorry. I mean, sure, I’m listening, so you can feel free to leave as many comments as you want, but I can’t really do anything about it. I’m guessing the vast majority of you have no connections to the porn industry and neither do I, so whatever we’d like to see in porn in 2014 is probably going to remain just a wish. Feel free to go to your favourite porn producer and look for an email address to send suggestions to, though; it’s worth a try.

In Praise of Randomness

I’m a big fan of randomness – under controlled circumstances, of course. Actually, only under one circumstance.

I’ll start again.

I’m a big fan of setting my music player to “random” or “shuffle” mode. I have what some would call eclectic tastes, and my library reflects that: if a music player were to truly play random songs from my library I might hear a classic blues number followed by a hard-core death metal song followed by some house or trance stuff followed by some old school (or new school) rap/R&B, followed by some Afro Jazz, followed by… well, you get the idea. There’s a lot of stuff in there.

Masturbari Interruptus

I don’t know if my Latin is correct; if I were to guess I’d say that it’s probably not.

Let me set the scene for you:

I’m in the home office, dressed in a regular pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I worked from home today, but the working day is done and now I’m scrolling through my Smutty feed, “liking” things I like, keeping track of videos I might want to watch (and maybe post) at a future date, not really doing anything special.

OGLAF

I’ve already mentioned that I like toon-related porn (comics, cartoons, some hentai), so of course I’m following some cartoon-related hashtags on Smutty. Most of the pictures I see under those tags are just hand-drawn or computer-generated images of sexy girls, or other sexual content. In other words, it’s the same as all of the other pictures I see on Smutty, except with cartoon people instead of real ones.

Reasons Porn is Better Than Sex: Dating… Ugh!

Dating is hard, yo. I feel sorry for single people who have to do it on a regular basis.

Wait, let me amend that:

There are people who are single but who don’t want to be. They’re looking for “that special someone” they can “spend the rest of their life with,” and hoping that the dates they go on will lead to that relationship. I feel sorry for those single people. There are other single people who are quite happy being single, who date just for fun (and for sex), and I feel less sorry for them since they’re just having fun and living their lives. Enjoy your dates, single people who aren’t looking for The One!