Misconceptions About Sex

I’ve written before about porn’s impact on us, and how it shapes our views on sex. I’m not the only one thinking about this: it’s not exactly a scientific study, but a thread on reddit asked women what they’d “learned” from porn that turned out to be untrue.

I didn’t read the thread, because I’m lazy, but I read a summary on HuffPo. The HuffPo post listed 11 things that they found particularly disturbing. (My question being: Why 11?) So here are the 11 false impressions about sex that women got from porn that the HuffPo writer wanted to call our attention to:

1. They felt their bodies were abnormal. I can’t blame them for that, though it’s not just porn making them feel like that it’s every female they ever see in the media: magazines, television, movies, hell even female newscasters are smoking hot. I mean think about it: in movies even the “ugly girl” is sexier than most girls you meet in real life – she just has her hair up in a bun and glasses on.

2. They thought all sex focused on guys’ pleasure. Turns out guys in real life think that’s true, too, but yeah, porn definitely promotes it.

3. They thought being “sexy” is a purely physical thing. Even I fall into this, sometimes – both in the way I view women, and in the way I view myself.

4. They thought men don’t like women with hair on their genitals. I have to admit, I personally don’t like women with hair down there. Partially for looks, but mostly because… Well, I don’t like getting hair in my teeth!

5. They thought orgasms should be effortless. I’ve written about this ad nauseum. In fact, I make offhand comments about it on a regular basis. Ladies: Orgasms in real life don’t come nearly as easily as they seem to for pornstarlets. If it takes you a while to get there there’s nothing wrong with you.

6. They thought men only find certain body types attractive. Well… in a way this is true, and it relates back to point 1. Men find certain body types more attractive, but only certain body types are ever promoted by the media.

7. They thought all penises are circumcised, and 8 inches long. I’ve written about circumcision before – how many bloggers can say that? – and it’s true that male penii in porn are always pretty sizable. Ladies, you might be in for some disappointment with some of your lovers. Sorry about that.

8. They thought people actually enjoy the weird positions we see in porn. That’s mostly done for camera angles, not out of pleasure. As long as you’re not being filmed, you don’t have to fuck as if you’re performing for a camera. Luckily for all of us.

9. They thought they had to do all the stuff porn starlets do in order to please their man. Not true. You can, feel free to try all that stuff out, but you can also make him feel good doing missionary with the lights off. Hell, sometimes you can get him off with a simple handjob. Your mileage may vary.

10. They thought men are always willing and ready. Willing, often. Maybe even usually. Though even men are sometimes not in the mood for sex. As for ready… sometimes not so much, regardless if they’re willing.

11. They thought that girls in real life sometimes get bored and decide to have lesbian sex. Much to my dismay, this doesn’t happen very often at all. Women do sometimes have lesbian sex (or at least make out) to turn on the men who are in the room; see point 2.