What I said was:
I have no problem taking on the role of teacher, and I have no problem taking on the role of master; I don’t even have a problem being a father figure – but not your actual father. When a girl wants to call me daddy it gets immediately weird for me.Now for those who are into the whole Domination/submission thing (or D/s as I often abbreviate it), you might feel that I’m oversimplifying things a bit. That it’s not really incest for a submissive to call her Dom “daddy.” And I get your point. But here’s my counterpoint: yes it is! That’s the whole point, right? When people in the D/s community started using the word “daddy” they picked it for a reason – it’s not just a random collection of letters, that coincidentally ended up spelling the word “daddy”. The word is used in reference to, you guessed it, daddies.
And why is the term “daddy” used instead of, say, “father,” or “pops,” or even “dad”? Oh man, I don’t even want to think about it; are we crossing both lines, into not just incest but also pedophelia?!? I mean… let’s face it, it’s only little girls who call their parental units “daddy,” not grown women. (Well, true, some women do, but it grosses me out when they do.) And… isn’t spanking a large part of the whole D/s thing?
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not against Domination/submission. At all. And I’m definitely not against spankings; I’ve given a few and I’ll give more. But if a girl is going to call me “daddy” it’s going to fuck with my head – just like it would fuck with my head if she were to act like a little girl instead of a grown woman.
When I’m in a D/s relationship I want my submissive to submit to me, but not because she’s a little girl or trying to reclaim her childhood. (Eugh!) I want her to submit as a grown woman, with her own personality, because she wants to submit to me for her own reasons. (It doesn't mean those reasons have to be well thought out.)
Which brings me to another point: What does a “proper” D/s relationship look like? But that’s a topic for another post.
Shit! And this was another post not related to porn! This blog is going all to hell these days. Next thing you know I’ll be posting recipes or something...
Hmmm... This is a tricky one for me because I have something of a Daddy/Good Girl D/s connection with one of my lovers.
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't work for me with all men and with this lover, it crept in very slowly. For us, it isn't about pedophilia but something else... Perhaps a taboo, a softer and yet altogether filthier connection because it plays out a certain kind of dynamic. (In fact, I've written about it...) Actually, now that I think upon it, this idea of the taboo might be the very essence of its appeal.
I think the word, the power of language, is key to that kind of D/s connection. This man isn't my father and I'm certainly no little girl in those moments, even as he utters the word. But the mere utterance instantly places me in a certain erotic space. It's a trigger, a catalyst; I become his, his submissive, ready to be taken and possessed. There's a sense of relinquishing control and allowing him to take the reins, both literal and metaphorical. Yet, there's a certain nurturing softness that's also present, a feeling of safety.
The odd thing is, I never imagined I would find this appealing before this man.
Great post, TIYB. Fingers crossed my thoughts don't have you completely disappointed with me... ;-)
Not disappointed at all. :) (And it's not just because you're sexy. Though that always helps...)
DeleteI think the key word in your comment is the word "taboo." I'm sure that's a huge part of it; how much of that taboo comes from the pedo aspects and how much comes form the incest aspects I wouldn't venture to say; I doubt even you can articulate it yourself, so I'm definitely not going to try to articulate it for you. :)