I Love Porn – I May Have Mentioned That Before

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it a lot. I love porn so much that I maintain a blog about it – you’re reading it right now, so you must have a certain affection for porn as well – and so the fact that I love it has come up on numerous occasions. If you do a search for the phrase “I love porn” in the search box above you’ll get back 48 different posts where I’ve used that exact phrase (so far). I think I’ve also mentioned on a number of occasions that I’m rather fond of being a middle-aged white man – it’s nice to be part of the ruling class – but that’s neither here nor there.

However, much as I love porn, I’m not extreme about it. Take, for example, this article from TechCrunch, titled (I kid you not) “#Love: Thanks, Porn”. Some of the things Mr. Biggs discusses are things I’ve discussed here; the fact that it used to be difficult to find porn, and now it’s everywhere. And the fact that he was writing about porn in the first place was a good thing, I spend a lot of time looking for blog posts about porn, so I was right there with him.

But then… then he started to go off the rails just a bit. Let’s examine the post together, shall we?

Midway through the piece, he says:

But solo time is more than just ogling. It’s a breather, a chance to vent (literally and figuratively) and an opportunity for reflection.

I’m not sure if I’m 100% there with him when he calls it an “opportunity for reflection,” but I guess we’re not that far apart. It’s definitely a chance to vent, so I’ll give him that.

I long ago smashed the iron codpiece that Catholic school wrapped around my loins, so the guilt is no longer an issue.

I wasn’t Catholic, so I’m afraid some of this is lost on me. “Smashing” the “iron codpiece” which is “wrapped around his loins” sounds a bit melodramatic to me, but hey, he’s obviously had to work through some issues, so I’m happy for him. Better that he discovered porn and masturbation than strangling kittens or something.

I can only assume the lady wife knows of my digital manipulations (or she will now) and that it doesn’t bother her. A person who admits to no self-pleasure is either lying or genuinely unmoved by the activity.

I’m honestly not sure if I agree with that last sentence or not. I definitely think a lot more people – male and female – consume porn than used to when I was a kid (or even in my 20s), so I think I'm in agreement with his main point: most people consume porn (and masturbate).

So far I’m not 100% in agreement with him on everything, but neither am I fully disagreeing.

How is this about love? It’s about self love, and not the narcissistic kind.

This is the first comment that I actively disagree with. I think consuming porn (by yourself) and masturbating is narcissistic. Almost by definition.

It’s about escaping the relentless tug of the reproductive act. It’s about the art that is made by two people thrust together. It’s about finding out what you like and don’t like. It’s about figuring how to talk to yourself – not others – about sex. We are born wanting a few simple things and those few simple things slowly morph into needs of real consequence. This desire is one of those. To deny it is to deny humanity.

All of this I agreed with except for the last sentence, which I think is a bit much. It’s true that much of the allure from pornography accompanied by solo masturbation comes from the fact that it’s purely about the self, and nobody else. It’s a chance to be perfectly selfish when it comes to sex; I can explore the type of sex/porn that I want to explore, without worrying about the needs and wants of anyone else. When it comes to sex I usually tend to be a very selfless lover; I’m very concerned with what she wants (or what they want), and much of the pleasure I get comes from the pleasure she gets. That’s not a bad thing, it’s a good thing. But I have to say, when I get in front of the computer and pull my cock out it’s nice to be selfish for a few minutes. (Um… I mean hours! For a few hours. Oh, who am I kidding? Part of this selfishness is that I can tear off a quick one without having to worry about disappointing anyone...) I might watch something very sensual and erotic from, say, X-Art, or I might just take 2 minutes to watch a compilation of nothing but facial shots, or I might watch something so freaky, so disgusting, that I couldn’t admit it to anyone – even my blog readers! (Am I kidding about that last point, or is it true? Hmm…)

All that being said (and this may surprise you, coming from me), I think human beings are more than capable of setting aside their own desires and doing without self gratification. To say that “to deny [this desire] is to deny humanity” is a bit far. We all deny it, on a regular basis. Those of us who really enjoy porn go long stretches at a time – sometimes even days! – when we consume no porn of any kind. I never consume porn when I’m at the office, for example, even though there are definitely days when I could use a bit of release.

So we plod ever forward, casting off the fear and embracing the inevitable. We move through our daily endeavors with blank faces, careful to hide the secret, solo assignations with ourselves. We look and easily find porn.

Wow, seriously? “Plod ever forward”? “Cast off fear and embrace the inevitable”? He’s now starting to equate yankin it with the quest for knowledge of the ineffable self. As much as I may love porn, as much as I might take the time to write all of these posts, I just can’t bring myself to put it in the same category of poetic, religious philosophy that he seems to.

Porn is the ultimate web service. The ultimate platform.

Um… the ultimate web service? Really? Because I do all of my banking online, including taking care of my mortgage, and I write this blog online, and when I’m not with my wife I communicate with her online, and when I have a girlfriend I usually communicate with her online, and whenever I travel I get all of my maps and travel directions online, and if I travel somewhere where the native language isn’t English I get all of my translations online, and… frankly, there are very few aspects of my life that aren’t, in one form or another, connected to the internet. So… is porn really the ultimate web service? I think not.

And, just off the edge of that dark place, in a plain that is quiet and clear and secluded, is a place of no judgement, where even the endless hum of humanity falls away and we are at our most alone and most free.

I kind of agree with this part. But this is also what makes porn and solo masturbation so narcissistic. It’s about me – only me, and nobody else. If I see a girl (or group of girls) in the porn who don’t please me, I’ll simply keep scrolling until what I see does please me. There are no concerns whatsoever about how the girls on my screen feel about that.

Porn is great, I obviously love it, and I think it does some good, allowing us to explore our sexuality without having to worry about making mistakes. (“What do you know, I happen to enjoy seeing pictures of futa girls, and I don’t enjoy incest porn! Now I know!”) But all it’s doing is giving us a few minutes of selfish pleasure. It’s not making the world a better place, it’s not teaching us to love ourselves (or anyone else), it’s not doing anything except stimulating certain centres of the brain to get us hard (if we’re dudes) or wet (if we’re chicks), and easing the pathway to self-stimulated pleasure. That’s a good thing, but let’s not make it into more than it is. It doesn’t have to “do any good,” as long as it gives us that pleasure; we don’t need to go out of our way to justify its existence. As long as we continue to enjoy it, it will continue to exist.