What’s the Relationship Between Masturbation and Sex?

The title of this post might seem like an obvious question, but I disagree (or I wouldn’t have written this in the first place).

In fact, I’ll start with an even more general question: What is masturbation? Is it a physical thing, releasing pent up energy? Is it an emotional thing? Is it related to lust? Does the situation surrounding the masturbatory event change the answer to this question?

Let me break this down, since that last sentence kind of pushed the boundaries of English grammar...

If I masturbate to a woman in a porn movie, is that the same, on any level, as having sex with her? I think most of us would say no – to the great relief, I’m sure, of pornstars all around the world.

If I masturbate while on my webcam with a woman who is simultaneously masturbating to me, is that the same as having sex with her, on any level? I think most of us would say yes. If there are no cameras involved, and I’m cybering with that same women over text – but we’re both still physically masturbating while we talk – does that change your answer at all?

And later on, once the camera is off, if I get turned on by the memories of what I’ve just done and need to masturbate again, is that the same as having sex with her, on any level? Or if we’re not talking at all, but out of the blue she sends me a photo or video that’s so exciting I have to go and masturbate, does that change the equation? Is it a form of cyber, or do we classify that differently?

To answer my own questions – though I’d be quite open to hearing other opinions on all of this – I’d say that if I’m masturbating during any of those cybering situations it’s a form of sex. Even in the case of the one-way communication where she has sent me a photo or video and I masturbate to that I still count it as sex, because she was sending it to me with the express purpose of causing that sexual excitement in me.

And to continue answering my own questions, I don’t think I’d put masturbation while watching porn in the category of sex – though, at the same time, neither is it an emotionless, lustless, purely physical endeavour. There are elements of sexuality involved, even if I can’t bring myself to call it sex. There’s a huge difference between a woman having sex as a performance in porn vs. a woman doing something sexual in a video or photo for me personally; technically, you could say that she’s “performing” for me, but… she’s performing for me. She’s not performing for a nameless, faceless crowd of guys on the internet, she’s performing for me. Hell, we’re all performing in the bedroom to some extent, even if we do have to perform a bit more for photos. (It’s difficult to purposely make yourself look sexy. How do you do it, Minx?) So that’s in a completely different category than porn.

At least, it is to me. Again, the comments are open if you want to continue the conversation.