Self Control

(Or lack thereof.)

I’m an unrepentant multitasker. I’m often working on one or more work-related things at the same time that I’m chatting with people over instant messaging and maybe even writing blog posts for a blog about porn*, and I’m usually pretty good at prioritizing the various things I’m doing. (* Note: I may sometimes work on my porn-related blog posts at work, but obviously there are limits to what I’ll do at work. I don’t go browsing Smutty or attaching pictures to blog posts or anything – I don’t even view my own blog from the network at work. I just write the content for my posts, and then when I’m at home I’ll put them in Blogger and start pulling in pictures.) I have a pretty good poker face, so people around me will rarely be able to tell the difference between when I’m working and when I’m, you know, workin it.

If you’re chatting with me over IM (do “the kids these days” still IM?), you might find that there are short gaps in time where I don’t respond while I fiddle with some document, and contrarily if you say something that grabs my interest I may set aside my work for a few minutes to delve into that conversation.

And what’s the best way to grab my attention? Why sex, of course! (I can’t believe you couldn’t figure that out on your own. Come on, people, you need to pay attention.)

I can’t count how many times I’ve stopped working – sometimes for hours at a time – because some woman wanted to talk about her sex life, or wanted to send me a naughty picture of herself, or wanted to cybertext me. (I’m coining the term “cybertext” to indicate purely textual cybersex over IM or SMS, as opposed to camming. So far no women have tried to cam me at work – though I’m sure that will start happening soon.)

It’s bad enough when I’m at my computer working on my own but it’s downright problematic when I’m in a meeting. It’s always the same: there I am in my meeting, looking all sharp and dapper in my suit and being proactive and giving value for money and … um… being outside the box or something, and my normally silent IM client will suddenly flash at me. Before I even look to see who the message is from, I’ll get a slight pavlovian thickening in my cock, for a number of reasons:

1. Whoever just sent that message is a sexy woman. I know this before I even look to see who it is because I only have sexy women in my IM list. It’s not because I’m so choosy – though I sort of am – I’ve just been lucky that way. 
2. There’s a reasonably good chance she’s going to want to talk about something sex-related. If she’s on my “questionable” IM client it’s because we met through Ashley Madison, or through Fantasti, or via my blog, or through some other porn- or sex-related forum.
3. I don’t know a lot of women in this context who are online very often (I mostly use my IM client to ping me when I get new emails), so the sheer novelty of someone pinging me on IM, coupled with the two points listed above, mean that my cock gets a tingle before my brain even gets a chance to think about why. I’m not kidding when I say it’s pavlovian.

So before I even start the conversation I’m mildly turned on, in an anticipatory way. As soon as I can (if I’m not currently speaking in the meeting) I’ll bring the conversation window up to see who it is. Of course, whoever it is I’m guaranteed to be pleased because, as mentioned above, there are only so many people who have the keys to my exclusive little IM list, and I’m happy to talk to any of them, at any time.

Where it goes from here will depend on the woman. Some girls will already, right from the beginning, be starting in with the sexy talk, while others will just be looking for an innocent conversation to catch up and see how I am, in which case I’ll take my time before steering the conversation into sexual areas. (She’ll know it’s coming – and, if she’s sending me a message, is probably be looking forward to it, for her to have messaged me in the first place.)

As an example, I got a message recently from a “friend” from the other side of the world. She was having a very good day, and was therefore in a good mood, and was just saying hi to share her good feelings with me. Within a short period of time she was telling me what she was wearing – dark jeans and a backless top, and if you know anything about me you can assume I was already imagining the feel of my hand on that naked back – and shortly after that we were verbalizing how nice it would be if I could be joining her in her office, making good use of her desk.

Before I even continue, let me ask this: Doesn’t that sound nice? Or, depending on your viewpoint, fucking hot? Her seated on her desk, legs wrapped around me to pull me close, me with one hand on her nude back and the other tugging on her hair to pull her close, us kissing like our lives depended on it?

So of course my multitasking immediately fell by the wayside and my focus was almost entirely on the conversation with this lovely young lady. My cock was hard, and only the cut of my suit and the position of the table protected it from the sight of my fellow meeting attendees. When I did pay attention to the meeting, in the back of my mind I was worried that we’d take a break or something and I’d have to stand up, at which point the cut of my suit might not be enough.

Eventually the conversation ended, of course, and I was able to gradually give more and more attention back to my meeting (as my brain wrestled more and more blood flow back from my cock). But after a while I encountered the next issue: As my cock began to go back to its resting state, it left behind the “gift” of precum inside my boxers. Not enough fluid that it would ever leave a wet patch that anyone would be able to see, but enough to make me slightly uncomfortable for a while.

If I were at home I might have gone to the bathroom and taken care of things, but I was at the office so I couldn’t. I’ve never masturbated at the office, and doubt I ever will – that much self control I do have.

There was going to be a point to this post, but I forget what it was. I honestly don’t remember if it was going to be porn-related or not.