When I was a kid porn was a lot harder to come by, and you can understand why: stone tablets are hard to transport, and even harder to mass produce! Also, it’s difficult to do good circles with a hammer and chisel, so boobs always tended to come out looking kind of boxy. To this day, just seeing a couple of circles side by side is enough to make me blush; put a dot in the middle of each one and I’ll cum in my pants.
| [] [] | Boobs, as carved in stone by a hammer and chisel |
| O O | A frank depiction of female nudity, as created by a master chisel artist |
| ( . Y . ) | OH MY GOD I’M CUMMING I’M CUMMING!!! |
Much, much later on with the invention of magazines it was easier to get porn: you could just go to a store and pick some up. It still took a bit of finagling because you’d have to go to a store that had three big red X’s flashing above the door, so you had to time things so that nobody would see you going through the door. Unless you were a pervert, in which case you just put on your brown trenchcoat and didn’t care who saw you going in. But magazines were much more portable than stone tablets, so overall it was a net win.
Either way, whether you were a pervert or a “normal” man, once you had some porn you tended to keep it. (Probably in a box under your bed.) Some night when you wanted to get yourself off you’d want to just reach under your bed and find a magazine, but in order for that to work you really needed to have something handy. (When I say “handy,” is it a pun? Only I know for sure…)
Later on they started putting softcore pornographic magazines into 7-11’s and other similar stores, so you could go into a store and get some without people immediately realizing you were a pervert. (But you were. You were a dirty, dirty pervert. Did you go blind from your masturbation, pervert?) The XXX stores still existed and had “harder” stuff than what you’d find in 7-11, but not everyone needed their porn that “hard” so the local 7-11 was fine for many.
At some point, I don’t know where in the timeline, Hi8 movies and VHS tapes and DVDs were introduced, but some of the same factors still played into the situation, the only difference was the experience for the porn consumer. It was more fun to watch videos than look at pictures, but you still needed to keep a stash handy and once you’d purchased something you kept it, often forever. (Or until your wife found it and threw it out.)
But then pay-per-view porn was introduced on cable TV, and in my mind that had a bigger impact on our porn consumption and our need for a stash: we could now consume porn in the comfort of our own homes, we didn’t have to go to a store, all we had to do was order it from our cable companies and nobody would ever know how often we were beating it or what turned us on. There was still a bit of a hurdle to overcome because your cable company would know what a dirty, dirty pervert you were, but at least nobody else would. (And based on how much money cable companies have been making off of porn, it apparently wasn’t an insurmountable hurdle.)
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| Cable porn indeed! |
An even bigger change to our need for a porn stash came from the internet. Never before had porn been so easy to access – and so cheap! You could download as much porn as you wanted and the only cost would be to your internet service provider for the bandwidth you were using. If you could find an internet account with unlimited bandwidth your porn was completely free! It wasn’t quite at your fingertips, there was still some wait time involved and some searching to find the “good stuff” rather than the mediocre stuff (or the “hard” stuff if you were into something less mainstream), so you still needed a stash, but the stash was now quite different: it was files on a computer rather than magazines or DVDs in a box under your bed. Typically you’d just keep the good stuff and delete the stuff that was only so-so; that way if you ever need to touch yourself and don’t have time to wait for stuff to download, you’ve got your go-to porn that you can use.
All joking about stone tablets aside, this is how I was consuming my porn once I started to get addicted. A more nuanced view of the timeline can be found under the My History With Porn lable on this blog, but that’s essentially what was happening: around the time my addiction was growing I was starting to consume porn over the internet and starting a stash on my hard drive.
And much of it is porn that I still, to this day, haven’t looked at; I downloaded it because it looked interesting, but have such a backlog of unviewed porn that I still haven’t gotten around to looking at it all.
But wait… why haven’t I gotten around to it? I still consume porn. Quite a lot of it, in fact. Enough that I started a blog to write about it, and accumulated a bunch of sexy readers. (Hi readers!) So if I’m consuming so much porn, how is it that I’m not dipping into my stash?
The answer is simple, and for my younger readers (the ones who grew up with internet porn), it’s probably so obvious that they don’t understand why I’m bothering to type it out: It’s just easier to go to Smutty and get my porn there. Why mess around with an external drive when it’s so much faster and easier to go to the web and let the porn wash over me.
I’m sure I’ve used the phrase “let the porn wash over me” before on this blog, and, in retrospect, it would probably be a better title for the blog than what I have.
Some of the old fogeys like myself are thinking to themselves, “but all the good stuff is in my stash! All the stuff that I really liked!” However, as I’ve written before our brains are wired to crave variety more than they crave quality. To be clear, our brains like quality too, but if they have to choose between the two they’ll choose variety. (If I were smarter I would have framed this as “quantity vs. quality” instead of “variety vs. quality,” but it’s too late, I’ve typed what I’ve typed, and now I need to live with it.)
It sort of goes like this:
| I could look at: | Or I could look at: | My brain would choose: |
| A photo of a really sexy girl who’s coated in cum and fucking loves it | A photo of a so-so looking girl, with a bit of cum on her chin | Obviously I’ll choose the “good” one over the mediocre one. So hot! |
| The same photo as above of the really sexy girl | Another photo of a so-so looking girl with a cock in her mouth looking up at the camera | The first photo is way better. Remember how sexy she looked, and that cute smile she had on her face? |
| The same photo as above of the really sexy girl | A photo of an average looking girl jerking off a cock as it begins to cum on her face | Do you need to keep asking? Of course the first girl is still sexier. She… well, she’s not quite as sexy as I remember, though. But still: Photo 1. |
| The same photo as above of the really sexy girl | A photo of an average looking girl and an average amount of cum being deposited onto her face | You know, that sexy girl really gets less sexy by the viewing. This other girl, however… I’ve never seen her before! and look at that cum! |
| The same photo as above of the really sexy girl | A photo that doesn’t show the girl’s face, but her boobs are being cummed on | Boobs! Look, boobs! |
| The same photo as above of the really sexy girl | The very first photo of the so-so looking girl with a bit of cum on her chin | Because the photo of the so-so girl wasn’t really memorable I’ll have forgotten it by this point, so it will seem like a “new” photo to me and be hotter. |
Now extrapolate that to looking at my stash vs. going to Smutty and finding something new there: I’ve got some things in my stash that I know are hot, but I know that because I’ve seen them before. Or I could go to Smutty and see something new, and maybe what I see won’t be as good as what I’ve got in my stash but if not I can just click on the next item in my feed and look at that.
On the other hand, maybe the thing that I see will be even better than what I’ve got in my stash. That’s part of how addiction works: sometimes you see those really amazing photos or videos, and it brings you back for more in an even stronger way; your brain starts to live for those jolts.
Personally, I’m going to keep my stash. Who knows, maybe someday I’ll be somewhere that doesn’t have internet connectivity with a few hours to kill and will need some stimulation – and then I’ll be glad for that external drive. That being said, though, I won’t be adding to it. When I find something good these days I’m not bothering to download it and add it to my “collection” (assuming that’s even possible), I’m just leaving it online. I could go back and find it, if I wanted, but most of the time I don’t bother; there will always be something else to look at.
My guess is that the younger folks probably don’t have a stash in the first place, though I’d be curious to know if that assumption is true. I would ask for people to comment and let me know, except then I’d have to define what I mean by “young,” and some people might get offended...
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