Author’s Note: Why would I name this post with a pun based on a book so few people have read? Sure, it works thematically, but nobody will get the joke but me...
In a previous post from the “My History With Porn” series I mentioned my early history with pornographic magazines, and the fact that my mom found them at one point and made me get rid of them. After that I got “smart,” and going forward any time I came across new magazines I did a better job of hiding them: I’d rip out the “good parts,” and then insert them into the middle of a Mad Magazine. I had a billion issues of Mad, so it was easy to just slip this particular issue into the middle of the pile.
Well I was home for the weekend recently, and my mom told me that she’d been cleaning out the attic and found some of my old Mad Magazines. “That’s strange,” said I, “I thought I had all of those.” I looked inside the bag and immediately realized what she had: the one copy of Mad which had my smutty pictures hidden in them.
I flipped through them today, and I can’t believe how tame they were! I had a couple of pictures from a Playboy, and – believe it or not – some pictures from a biker magazine, which just had the “biker chick of the week” showing her tits. After I had to get rid of my real stash I must have figured that anything was better than nothing.
And the adult me can relate: There are times when I should be sleeping, my wife beside me IS sleeping, and I really want to sneak off to the bathroom and tear one off but it’s taking me awhile to get there without visual stimulation.
Wait, what was it I was saying a while ago about addiction...
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