Tactile Sensation

In a previous post I mentioned a lie I told in college. Not wanting to admit that I masturbated – it was a different time, when people weren’t so open about masturbation – I pretended like I never masturbated with a sock.

My exact words were:

Next thing I knew I was just as addicted as I’d ever been, coaxing nightly orgasms into my sock. (Once, when I was at a night job during my college years, a coworker asked me if I ever masturbated into a sock, and I played dumb. “Wouldn't that chafe?” I asked. It was one of the best lies I ever pulled off. For the record it definitely can chafe. You have to be careful when fucking a sock.)

This is all true (I would never lie to you, my dear readers), masturbating with a sock can definitely chafe. Especially if you do it a lot. But there’s a flip side: masturbation produces semen, and it has to go somewhere. (Correction: when a guy masturbates it produces semen. Girls, if you produce semen when you masturbate it means that you haven’t cleaned yourself out after the last guy(s) you fucked.) A lot of times I’ll masturbate over a toilet and flush away the evidence, but when that’s not an option fucking a sock lets you beat off without the inconvenient mess.

Masturbating over a toilet? If this blog ever had any glamour or class, it definitely doesn’t anymore.

But fucking a sock wasn’t how I first started masturbating when I was a kid, I got my start with bedsheets. Sometimes I’d just wrap my cock in a sheet and use my hand, and other times I’d lie on my stomach and literally fuck the sheet. Of course, when you do it that way you end up having to sleep in a cum-covered bed, which is probably why I stopped doing that.

But you know what? Nostalgia is a powerful force, and sometimes I reminisce about those early masturbatory explorations with a bedsheet and an active imagination. And sometimes, just for fun, I’ll still use a bedsheet. (If I’m home alone, and going to change the sheets the next day anyway.) Or maybe wrap my cock in a t-shirt and masturbate with that. Sometimes I’ll even use the fabric of my boxers.

Again, it definitely can chafe, and one has to be careful. But I didn’t have all of those nuances figured out when I was a kid, so I just went for it. And now that I’m an adult, I sometimes revert to my ways as a dumb kid.

Men get away with reverting better than women. Sorry ladies.