Juicy

I admit the fact that I’m a pervert. In fact I admit it on a regular basis, here on the blog, in writing. So there are times, in my regular, day-to-day life, when somebody says something perfectly innocent and I take it in a dirty way and inwardly smirk. Sometimes it’s just plain childish, and sometimes I’m surprised by my own perversion when I think everyone will be smiling but nobody gets the joke other than me.

For example, probably anyone, given a second to think about it, would smile at this:

“I just can’t get it in the bottom!”

Sometimes you just have to push a little harder. And maybe use some lube…

This, on the other hand, is just plain childish:

“This problem is hard!”

Oh it’s hard, is it? heh heh heh... I... yeah, I’m a child.

Want more examples? I have two more that came from a single instant messaging conversation with a friend:

• She told me that I’m not too unhealthy because I’m not not abusing my body. Au contraire, my friend, I abuse it every chance I get.
• She told me she hasn’t done jack all today, and I feel it was immature to convert that to a jacking off comment – but I did it anyway, because I’m committed to my craft.

The word “hard” is perfectly fine to use in regular parlance. (Though I usually find myself using the word “difficult” instead, just to be safe.)

I, on the other hand, am constantly feeding the perversions of others by using the word “impotent” in the sense of “powerless,” because sometimes it’s the right word to use, even if others snicker. I’m impotent to stop myself; my vocabulary keeps thrusting the word upon me, and once I’m showered in its aptness, and left spent at the end of the sentence, I find myself feeling a little dirty, but also satiated. For a while.

The point of all of this is that I’m sometimes unaware that my perversions are a step ahead of the perversions of others. (Are you going for a foursome in tennis? I’ll have to struggle to keep a straight face.) So I need some help from my readers:

When a girl has the word “Juicy” sprawled across her bum, is that not… like… really perverted? I’m not talking “he used the word ‘hard’ in a sentence” kind of perverted, I’m talking “she’s claiming that her pussy gushes” perverted. Is there any way to see the word “Juicy” scrawled across a girl’s bum and not think about her soaking pussy? Or is it just me?

Is this perverted? Wait, maybe this is a bad example...

Actually, maybe you’re not the best people to ask. You’re here at a blog devoted to porn, after all; you might be as perverted as I am. (I hope so.)

Go ask your non-perverted friends what they think, and report back to me.