I write about race a lot on this blog, hey? Considering the fact that I’m a middle-aged white guy living in North America, I bet there are people out there – mostly white people – who wouldn’t want me to talk about race because they don’t think I know what I’m talking about. If I were black they wouldn’t want me to talk about race because I’d be playing the “race card.” If I were South Asian, or East Asian, or black, or aboriginal, or anything other than white, they wouldn’t want me to talk about race because I’d be biased.
What I’m getting at is that white people don’t like to talk about race, and they don’t like it when other people talk about race in front of them (or even behind their backs). White people like to believe that we live in a post-racial society, and anything that punctures that balloon is viewed with suspicion. Don’t even mention the term “white privilege” around white people unless you want to be pummelled with a tirade that they don’t have white privilege because they weren’t rich when they were young.
Aside, to my racialized readers: Bonus points if you can egg white people on in these conversations, get them as angry as possible, and see if you can surprise them into racist language, like calling you the n-word (if you’re black) or the g-word (if you’re East Asian) or the p-word (if you’re South Asian) or whatever. If you play it just right, the moment they’ve uttered this racist epithet they’ll blanch, realize how racist they’ve just been, and become your servant for a while, to try making it up to you and prove that they’re not really racist.
Let me address one of the above objections, though, because on the face of it there might be some validity to it: As a middle-aged white guy am I qualified to talk about race? Or am I just spouting off about things I don’t understand? And the truth is that I’m not qualified to talk about race if I do it in the way that white people typically talk about race (or anything else for that matter): if I approach issues of race from the point of view that I’m the expert, and my opinion trumps the opinions of all others, then I’m not qualified to talk about it. I should shut up, get out of the way, and let racialized people talk about their own experiences. I should just listen.
And let’s not kid ourselves: white people feel that we must be listened to, on all topics, regardless of our level of expertise. We will shout over everyone else, make ourselves heard, and if there’s ever an instance where we aren’t able to make our voices heard (it’s rare, but it does happen), we get righteously indignant, as if a terrible injustice has occurred. The irony being that racialized people around the world are constantly bombarded by the white point of view on pretty much everything; if there were ever a case where a white person wasn’t able to make his voice heard, I’d think people of colour would probably breathe a sigh of relief at the temporary respite.
But I try not to talk about race in this way. I don’t claim to know what I’m talking about, but I do want to be part of the conversation. Folks, it can’t be an “us vs. them” discussion, or racial divisions will never be healed; white people have to acknowledge that we’re not the experts when it comes to experiences of racialized people, we’re not the experts at institutionalized racism, but we should take part in the conversation. We have to learn. If we’re careful how we approach it we can even inform the discussions, we can help, but we need to do so with the right attitude and the right intentions. Let’s provide our input when it’s appropriate, but let’s let the discussion be led by those who know what they’re talking about.
What the fuck does this have to do with white guys’ Asian fetish? Oh, right, I was going to mention a blog post.
I read a blog post by Kristina Wong the other day, on xoJane, and it was great. Go and read it; it’s insightful, and just as importantly it’s funny. (Just as importantly to me, I mean. Not to the issue.) I have a feeling that racialized people will enjoy it more than white people, especially white men, especially white men who have an Asian fetish (which is a good percentage of them). I didn’t have the heart to look at the comments to see what kind of a response she got; I’m guessing it wasn’t the kind of useful dialog I was advocating a couple of paragraphs ago. It’s probably a lot of racist name-calling, mixed in with white guys who are in denial of their Asian fetish and are therefore suggesting that Ms. Wong date them (since they’re better than other white guys with Asian fetishes).
So what does all of this have to do with me? Well… um… you, see, it’s like this…
I like women. All women. I’m into East Asian girls, sure, but I’m also into South Asian girls, and Caribbean girls, and white girls, and whatever other kind of girls you can think of. I’m into slutty girls, and nerdy girls, and stern business women, and flighty val girls, and bohemian artsy chicks. If a girl is good looking, and into it, I’ll fuck her.
But there was a time when I used to frequent an escorting agency which specifically catered to guys with Asian fetishes. In fact they didn’t mince words, they didn’t even use the word “Asian,” they used the word “Oriental” – if you’re gonna be racist, go all the way! I didn’t go there because I was into the whole East Asian thing, I went there because part of their whole Oriental fetish schtick was that they really took care of you as a client. The girls would undress you (or help you undress), they’d join you in the shower and wash you, they took it really far.
Now, what my racialized readers are seeing, and what my white readers are probably not seeing, is yet another white guy benefiting from the racism of the whole thing, while trying to claim that he’s not racist. “I didn’t go there because they’re Asians! I just went there because I could benefit from them playing off of Asian stereotypes! I’m not racist, I just like getting all of the benefits of racism!” I’m not a great person.
I was recently tempted to go back and see them so that I could be pampered some more, but I decided that I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. (I’m not claiming any kind of moral superiority here; I seriously considered going back to them.) Instead I ended up going to a different agency, and the girl they paired me up with was white.
As a total aside, she was very much into porn, and we had a fun conversation about it. Did you know that they make porn where they put a camera inside the girl’s pussy, so that you can watch the guy cumming inside her from inside her? She was fascinated by this, and her fascination was contagious. I need to go looking for that; it could be hot, or it could be really, really weird. My guess is that it’s a little bit of both...
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