Multitasking

Lots of people can multitask, but I can’t. Unfortunately I don’t learn from my mistakes, so I keep making them over and over.

It usually works like this:

1. I have some TV time to myself, so I turn on some shitty movie that I know my wife wouldn’t like (even if I’m only half interested in it). Usually something with a lot of action, and geared toward guys, so that there’s guaranteed to be some gratuitous nudity somewhere near the beginning.
2. While I’m watching the TV I pull out my laptop and start surfing Smutty or Fantasti and let the porn wash over me.
3. Because I’m only half paying attention to the screen, I miss the gratuitous nudity. All of those breasts and asses distract me from the breasts and asses!

Because of this I almost missed the three-boobed lady on Total Recall. Luckily I happened to glance up at just the right moment, so I caught it, so this particular story has a happy ending, but other times I wasn’t so lucky.